The Soprana (Saints Row 2)
Achievement Description:Sung Along to the Radio
Obviously, you don't sing along yourself. That would be mildly disturbing for your co-op partner or anyone who happens to be in earshot, wondering why you're singing Take On Me at the TV. Unless you're a great singer. And hey, you could be! But then you'd be playing Lips and not this. Instead, you have to whack the radio onto the station that churns out 80s hits and wait for your character to sing along.
High Noon (Call in Juarez: Bound in Blood)
Achievement Description:Kill 4 enemies between 12:00pm and 12:15pm
Every now and then in life, there will be something that you realise you have absolutely no opinion about, so you tend to just follow the crowd and their opinions yet. Vanilla ice-cream, Pixie Lott, Aston Villa... you neither love nor hate them. You're just not sure. The same could be said for this achievement. Is it a good idea? Is it rubbish? Who knows? Nothing like it has been tried before or since. We just don't know.
Let's Do Lunch! (Incredible Hulk)
Achievement Description:Crush 10 enemies by throwing either a taco, an ice cream cone or a doughnut
You can kill someone with a traffic cone in Halo 3 (or yourself). You can batter someone to death with a rubbish bag in Saints Row 2. You can even take out enemies with a water gun in Matt Hazard. But being crushed to death by a doughnut? That ranks as the most embarrassing way to die in any 360 game. Or a taco. Or an ice-cream. Or even all three. Just don't let it happen to you.
The Great Leap Forward (A-Train HX)
Achievement Description:Complete the game within 5 years
Some people like to moan about how long it takes to complete a game. Woe betide the developer who ushers you along to the end credits before you've spent at least six hours sat on your behind, for he will feel the wrath of the short-changed gamer slamming his fists against his keyboard to batter out angry posts on an internet forum to show his rage. Perhaps what Angry Gamer needs is a copy of A-Train HX. Look! It's a challenge to finish the game within five years. Good luck, see you in 2015!
Honeymoon (Lost Planet 2)
Achievement Description:Celebrate your six-month anniversary with Lost Planet 2
Firing up the game six months after you get it is an easy way to nab this achievement but really, what are you achieving? Not much. We can't imagine it being anything other than a particularly depressing anniversary. Not that Lost Planet 2 is a bad game per se, just anniversaries are... you know. Not for games. Anyway, what is it with developers being scared we'll get rid of their games? After all, look at the next achievement on the list...
Obsessive (Brothers In Arms: Hell's Highway)
Achievement Description:While connected to Xbox Live, play the game once a day for 100 days
For 100 days, you have to log on, play Brothers In Arms: Hell's Highway, then log off again. Fair enough. Except it's hardly up there with Modern Warfare 2. So really what you have to do is log on, create a lobby, wait 30 minutes for someone to show up, quickly try and start the match, swear at the screen as the other player quickly scuttles off, wait another 30 minutes, give up and vow to try again tomorrow. They didn't really think this achievement through.
Defeat King Poo (Blue Dragon)
Achievement Description:Find and defeat the rare monster King Poo
Yes, you have to defeat poo for this achievement. But not any poo will do. You have to defeat King Poo! It sounds like the aftermath of a bad night out but it's a legit achievement. Even better (or worse), King Poo is one of the toughest monsters in this game, making this a smelly badge of honour for those hardcore enough to nab it. Just don't forget to wash your hands afterwards.
Hanging Chad (Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11)
Achievement Description:Provide feedback by taking a survey
As strange as all the achievements on this list have been, at least they involve you playing the game in some way, shape or form. This one throws 25 gamerpoints for ticking a couple of boxes on a survey sheet. Even better, if you fire up your copy of Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11, the survey isn't even available yet. Brilliant work there, chaps. We're guessing "do you think this achievement is a good idea?" won't be one of the eventual questions.
Welcome to 2047 (Command & Conquer 3)
Achievement Description:Press the A button 2047 times, the year the game takes place
For this achievement you have to press A. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. We're not going to type it out 2047 times but you get the picture.
Flushed (The Orange Box)
Achievement Description:Kill an enemy with a toilet
You know what we said earlier about dying by a doughtnut being the most embarrassing way to snuff it? Maybe getting clanked on the head by a porcelain toilet is worse. The gravity gun in Half-Life 2 lets you fling all sorts of objects about - the razor-sharp discs being a special treat when you find them - and Valve decided to reward those who murder their enemies by flinging toilets about. It's like a Jackass skit gone wrong.